Letting Go
by dreamgoddess'92
Summary: After Haley's death from her POV. Before she can move on though, she witnesses something that makes it easier to let go of the ones she loves.


Hey everyone.

I figured it was about time I took a crack at a story like this. Even though I was crying like a baby when I wrote it. I doubt I'll be able to ever watch 100 without crying like crazy. I guess I'm just really sensitive. (not a bad thing btw) I can't wait for tomorrow's episode. I've been going through withdraws *laugh*

I don't know if this will make you cry, but perhaps a tissue nearby wouldn't hurt. I do not own Criminal Minds (grrr) nor "Hear You Me (May Angels Lead You In)" by Jimmy Eat World

Please enjoy and review.

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_And if you were with me tonight,_

_I'd sing to you just one more time._

_A song for a heart so big,_

_God couldn't let it live._

Everything went black.

There was no light, no sound; there was just black. Haley wasn't sure what she had been expecting after those shots went off, but it hadn't been this. She felt like she was floating in a sea of night. The silence was deafening, the lack of light unnerving. Before any panic could seize Haley she saw a small light in the darkness. As seconds passed, or maybe it was longer than seconds, the light grew brighter. It was like Haley was being drawn to it without being able to control her movements. It was like a beacon, taunting her, enticing her to come closer. What other choice did she have?

Once she reached the light Haley was encompassed in an overwhelming peace that made all her past pain, all her anguish, vanish in a single moment. Haley felt as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders and she began to cry.

She cried for her death, she cried for her son who would grow up without her, and most importantly she cried for Aaron. Her ex husband who she knew with ever ounce of her soul would blame himself for her death until he took his last breath. That's just who he was. Haley wanted to see them; she wanted to see Aaron and Jack one last time. She didn't care that it would hurt; she didn't care that they wouldn't be able to see her. She knew she was dead. She had resigned herself to death the second she realized that Foyet was in her house, playing with her son.

As Haley thought of her son, a vision swarmed before her like a murky pond in the summer. Haley watched as Aaron embraced their son and felt her tears blind her eyes. She could hear Jack telling his Daddy how he worked the case. Haley couldn't be prouder of her son and of Aaron for saving him. Haley watched as Aaron released his son and began walking up the stairs. She briefly wondered why as she saw the familiar faces of Agent's Morgan and Prentiss. Haley noticed how the burnett's eyes were slightly red and the way Morgan was breathing deeply in and out. Their grief was evident and Haley felt a pang in her heart as she saw them try to hold their professional masks in place.

Nothing could have prepared her for what she gazed upon next. Her body. Haley looked down in revulsion and fear. It was one thing to know you were dead; it was another to see the proof. Haley couldn't remember the pain of the gunshots. It was a numb blur and Haley had no desire to try and recall the event.

As Hotch fell to his knees, Haley did the same. Her sobs echoed in the dimly lit abyss as his cries were fading out. Haley did not want to die: She wanted to live.

"_God take me back. Please, please they need me_…" Haley choked out between heavy sobs and shortened breaths. How could she leave her son? The only light in her life when her marriage fell to the wayside. Haley wrapped her arms around her waist as she cried, her tears vanishing as they fell off her face.

Haley wasn't sure how long she cried, but it felt like an eternity passed before she was able to lift her head. Normally when she cried she had a horrible headache, but Haley guessed once you died there was no physical pain. Her body was on earth and her soul was…? Haley didn't know where she was. Surely she was not in heaven. She hadn't been the best human either, but she strongly doubted she was in hell. It was like she was stuck in between. Limbo.

Haley stood up and looked around the darkness, searching for another portal of light. How did she know they'd be okay? She didn't doubt Aaron's ability to raise their son. Aaron loved his son deeply and Jack returned that love tenfold. Jack thought his Daddy was a hero. He was and in Haley's mind Aaron would always be a hero.

Even though their marriage fell apart, she never doubted the good he accomplished because of his job. Even though their marriage fell apart, she never stoped loving him. She never would.

Haley felt a lightening in her soul as she began walking to another flash of light in the inky darkness. She had a feeling this was it; her last vision of the loves in her life. Her son and her ex husband. Haley was ready.

Peering into the light, the sight that greeted Haley made her laugh and she barely noticed the fresh set of tears that rushed to her eyes.

Jack was sitting around Aaron's team and laughing as JJ and Emily told him stories. Garcia and Morgan gazed fondly upon the little boy who seemed to enthrall everyone in the room. Dave and Reid joined in, adding their own twists to Jack's entertainment. Haley watched as they all looked up and as Jack rushed from his chair into his father's arms. Aaron held onto his son like a lifeline and the team looked on tenderly.

Suddenly Haley knew that they would take care of Aaron and Jack. JJ, Garcia and Emily blinked away their own tears as the men smiled sadly at the obvious pain Aaron showed in his eyes once he looked at them. They all stood by him, lending him an intangible strength. Haley felt a smile bloom on her lips as her tears began to cease.

Haley felt something pulling at her, something slowly taking her away. Was this what she had needed? To know that in the end Aaron and Jack would never be alone. Haley didn't try to fight it. She knew there was nothing she could do.

Memories of her life filled her head, focusing more on the moments of happiness with her son and Aaron. Her last words filled her heart and she hoped, oh God she hoped with all she had, that Aaron would teach their son about love. It was her gift to both of them. Her life for theirs, it seemed like a fair trade.

Haley closed her eyes and let the newfound light wash over her. All tears gone, all regrets like dust in the wind, all pain left behind in her broken body.

With one last look at Aaron and Jack Haley finally let go and soared into the great beyond, confident to think she would live on in the hearts of those she loved so deeply. Happy to believe that they were in good hands. Simply content to know that they loved her as much as she loved them.

_May angels lead you in._

_Hear you me my friends._

_On sleepless roads the sleepless go._

_May angels lead you in_

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Glad I got that out of my system. The story just came to me, partly because I read one like this. I wasn't Haley's biggest fan, but I certainly didn't want her to die. (so sad) I hope you enjoyed my story (as if you can really enjoy a fic about death) I hope to have the sequel to _Family Dynamics_ up by Friday-at least the 1st chapter that is.

Peace out.


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